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"You should’ve bought me flowers, and held my hand. You should’ve gave me all your hours when you had the chance. Take me to every party cuz all I wanted to do was dance. But now baby I’m dancing, but I’m dancing with another man."
Okay, so I love this song. Well, it’s not really the actual song, but the female version, a cover done by Madilyn Bailey (look her up on youtube she is INCREDIBLE). This song is constantly stuck in my head, and just, it’s really pretty.
However, it provokes a few thoughts from me.
I had a guy who bought me flowers, and held my hand. He did all of those little romantic gestures that were sweet, and wonderful.
But why is it that so many people expect that to be enough in a relationship? Yes, those things are sweet, but I’m starting to think that a lot of guys think that if they do all of those things, they’re “treating their girl right.”
This comes from the expectation that that is what a girl wants a guy to do for her. Pardon me if this is a little presumptuous, but I feel as though this is not equality. Men looking at a girl in this aspect is treating her a lot less like a human being, and more like some kind of pet. I feel as though this is exactly how a lot of men have come to view women. They need to do a, b, and c to take care of them. That sounds eerily like how you need to do a, b, and c to take care of a dog or cat. You need to feed them, give them water, walk them, make them get some exercise, and show them some affection. Accept, instead of a dog or cat, it’s a “girlfriend,” which is not as much an endearing name for a significant other, but a new breed of pet. You need to take them out to dinner, give them flowers, tell them that they’re beautiful, and cuddle them, tell them that you love them.
Those things are sweet. I’m not saying that they aren’t. However, I have no interest in being somebody’s “girlfriend.” I don’t want someone to treat me like a pet, giving me all the essential things that make a healthy “relationship.” That isn’t love, it’s caretaking. I want to be treated like a human being, because, guess what? I am a human being. There is no exact combination of things you need to do to ensure that I am happy. How about you try to get to know me? Treat me like you’d treat any human being.
Love shouldn’t be about romantic gestures. It should be about admiring someone for exactly who they are, and trusting that they hold that same admiration towards you, based exactly on who you are.